Let’s look at this situation like this – if we want the child to stop a certain behavior, we will probably stop solving the situation when the child has stopped hitting. Typically, the resolution would then look something like this: “Stop. It should not be done. There will be consequences if you continue.” This will stop the behavior and the situation will appear to be resolved. However, if our goal is to teach the child to regulate anger, our action algorithm will be different. We will think – what led to the fact that a child hits another? Is the problem that he is tired, hasn’t eaten? Or maybe it has to do with the fact that the sister took things and violated the boundaries of the other child, and the child otherwise did not learn to say that he did not like it? And depending on what led to this situation, we will understand what skill the child needs to be helped to develop at the moment, and we will have the opportunity to act in such a way as to help him learn this skill. If the child needs rest, restoration of resources, we will say: “I see that you got angry and hit your sister. It cannot be done. It seems to me that you are exhausted and need to rest so that you can handle your sister’s presence. Come sit here, let’s look at a book, so you can recover your strength. In the meantime, we will tell your sister to leave you alone.”
Tags: child hits table anger yells psychologist advises parents act
